WEIRU'S

Singapore poly

2012-02-01T01:07:00.002+08:00

Teeheee, so i got in my first choice, SP :D Happygirl95

And so the future billionaire is busying working these few days and finally, OFF DAY TOMORROW, which is like today ?

Anyw, it's Jasmine's 17th, HAPPY BIRTHDAY :D

It's February, the month i love and yet on the same time, hate the most .

Must enjoy the last few days of being 16 :(

UNLUCKY DAYYYY

2012-01-28T23:05:00.004+08:00

Went over to Jasmine's house for CNY + her early birthday celebration with the people above.

Gambled . MY FIRST EVER BANBAN :DD Happy like one siaogirl95 .

Went out with the bitches on wednesday and catched Jack &Jill . The movie was boring like shit . Nearly fell asleep . Great day, they are indeed bitches .. :')

Posting results out 2 more days and that two ladies gonna go for school ...

FINALLY

2012-01-15T22:17:00.009+08:00

Finally i open blogger and start blogging againnn .
O'levels are officially finished, and results were out.. Disappointed with my amath and science, but well ~ Surprised by my comb humans and english :P

Super looking forward to the posting. Now i regretted putting jc as second choiceeeee ..

Anyway, O'levels was a great experience :D

Many things happened before and after O's .

Let's see ...

First, right after O'levels, the next day we got class party.

Lucky draw and i won myself a starbucks tumblr !! :D

Next ,went back to msia and snipped off my long hair + recoloured/touchup my hair colour

Next next, Band concert. Well , its not a graduation concert .. It's a BAND CONCERT. Sad .

My favourite guys bandies :)

Next next next, i got myself a job thanks to eunice. Replaced her and worked with Danying at MDS Wisma. Cool experience. First day of work = event day at night.

And ... im still working now :(

Next next next next, COUNTDOWN !!
Worked till 7pm and went to find the girls. Initially decided to go shauna's house, then changed, slacked at vivo till von's daddy come and sent us home. Then who knows this lady came and asked whether we want go for the countdown party, channel 8 . And .. we went. Nothing much but ... I STILL MANAGED TO MAKE MYSELF SCREAMING :P

Then in a blink of an eye... ITS 2012 !

Next next next next next, 2E2'09 CHALET !!!

Thats the miracle chalet which makes my voice TOTALLY gone near at the end of day 1 .

And i talked like some people who got breathing difficulty, but, i really had a hard time breathing and talking. Heehee, that was a damn cool experience can !!! I never lost my voice till like this before :P And .. it took me a week plus to get my voice back. Well, it's not fully recover yet now , still a lil bit weak :P

Plus: louis, wesley, jelson, xavier, hiaohuang, jiayi, eunice, lincoln~

Next next next next next next, the next day after the 2nd day of chalet .. = 3rd day of chalet , we went to USS instead of staying at the chalet, with sam von jasmine shauna queenie and jelson. And sadly, my voice got WORST , so i cant scream throughout all the rides. Boring max .

Both the rides above were SUPER AWESOMELY AWESOME. Especially the blue one. 2nd time i sat that, i just practically zip my mouth and opened my eyes throughout the whole ride. Found myself upside down :P

That's all ! Shall blog the next time im free .. Oh wait, when am i free ?

Im gonna work from monday to friday, saturday till wednesday back to msia for cny . Thursday to saturday work again, sunday break, then 30th and 31st.

Im gonna either get sick again or .... die of fatigue. Well well well ... :(

2011-09-03T22:02:00.001+08:00

I need to start studying. Seriously :(

UPDATE UPDATE~

2011-08-29T23:05:00.005+08:00

Hi my dear. Dont know when will you see this, but never mind :D
Things are hard now, but you'll soon see th light at th end of th tunnel .
Stay strong, you always have me by your side.
Keep smiling, you look good when you smile. But dont force it :D

So prelim has just so-called ended. Not yet, left 2 more papers .
But ... self declare end of prelims. Wasn't a good one, wasn't prepared.
Cant fulfill my last wish, of getting back into th top40s for th last time in my secondary school life
Well, nothing can change .. :l

Hectic August. I hate September. Cause there's too much holidays. I don't like.
I've nobody to force me to study. Nobody to press me on for work.
Everyday at home = sleep , eat , slack. Study ? 1 or 2 minutes.
I neeed someone to push me, i neeed some concentration, self discipline.
Frankly speaking, i haven't really deep down sit down and start my preparation for Os.
Sighhhh .

Shall end off with my favourite boys !

Special

2011-08-14T23:13:00.002+08:00

Kyuhyun :D
Birthday: 3rd February 1988

FAMILIAR ?! He has th same birthday as me :D
Hi twin ! :D Know what ? At first i thought you're Leeteuk :P

BUSY WEEK AHEAD ! Everyday is a scary day :)
Pray for all th best. -World peace-

No, you're wrong. Ever since 26th july, i found myself numb over that matter.
It doesnt affect me a single nanometre anymore.

New

2011-08-08T22:06:00.002+08:00

My new interest; Super Junior :D

2011-07-17T23:08:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY TAEMINN !!! :D
Please stay cute forever ! Saranghaeyo !

Another hectic weeeeek ahead.
ASP. Tuesday Chinese LC. Wednesday RHD. Friday ASP + focus.
My life = maths maths and maths.
ASP = maths maths maths and maths.
If this continues, my other subjects gonna suffer.
Fuck maths seriously

I gotta bad dream. Im scared. How ?
What if it's like what mummy said, opposite, what should i do ?
It's gonna pull my confidence level down for sure.
What if it's true ? What how should i react ?
But please make it true, im sure my efforts worth that grade .. :(

It's Taemin's 18th. You're exactly 2years older than me only.
Awwwww~

2011-07-11T22:33:00.002+08:00

My sweeties are coming during September for concert :(

HELLLLOOO, i'd a great day at school today !
Funny things happened and ohmygod, lmao.

First off was at toilet during recess. For all that stupid things that get into my mind,
i went laughing and laughing and laughing. Coool ! I like :D

Second was .... ahhhh ! After school ! Damn, stupid cockroach at th cubicle.
Totally screamed my ass off and went laughing nonstop. I like !!

Third was .... ahhh at band ! With yun &bel, double shiokness !

Went print pictures + my mcflurry after that with yun. Triple shiokness !

And HEEHEE. OMG YES. I SAW THIS SUPER NIANG LADY AT LRT TODAY
WAIT, SHE'S NOT A LADY, SHE'S A GUY, BUT YAH, CHANGE SEX. *eeeww*
Okay so 'she' board th train at punggolplaza, and walked in like, OMG.
And went straight to th seat, but 'she' didnt sit down. 'She' was looking at her friends, think sorta telling them to come sit .
So, 'her' friend stood at th door and suddenly, opposite train came, and 'her' friends told 'her' to take th opposite one,
AND. 'SHE' RAN LIKE A FUCKING OHMYGOD, AND I WAS LIKE OHMYGOD.
Okay lame. I was staring at 'her' that bloody second 'she' stepped into th train, and im like,
OHMYGOD. AND MY HAIR STANDS. ESPECIALLY WHEN 'SHE' RAN OUT.
Im like, WHY SUCH PEOPLE EXIST IN TH WORLD ?!
I feeel so, OHMYGOD. Okay .

And so . Mummy encouraged me to tryout for DPA, and obviously im stuck, dontknow how to start writing.
SO, i also dontknow ley .

ASP tomorrow, and tomorrow and tomorrow till friday.
HARRY POTTER OUT ON THURSDAY. I WANT WATCH CAN.
IMA NUMBER FAN OF HARRY POTTER K !

AND OH ! I'd a great laugh during recess at th canteen ! Speaking about harry potter, HOW EXCITING CAN IT BE :D

2011-07-10T20:41:00.002+08:00

Harry Potter !

Im a hardcore fan of harry potter. Every book ive read it. Twice ?
AND IM WATCHING ORDER OF PHOENIX NOW :D
Okay damnn exciting, althou' ive watched it before.

There's so many things that happened this week .
School.. It have been a tiring week, indeed, very .
ASP started for th first weeek, and it sucks. Sucked out every of my energy .
Not really that productive, hmm .
There's still 18weeks of ASP to go. I wonder how im gonna survive . Sigh .

Went NP on friday and it was awesome. Th lecturer was damn funny.
And why is everyone rushing for DPA now ?
Hmmm .. Anyway, memories rushed back when im back at NP, back sitting at convention centre
Really missed that 2days :(

Oh and my phone died down. My battery was super fat, gained 50kg. Fat like nobody business.
Cant even cover my phone.
I CANT WAIT FOR HARRY POTTER.
I WANT TO WATCH,. 3D !!
Kay im gonna try my luck and ask mummy. Oh pretty pretty pleaseeee :(

Its gonna be another hectic week, hang on sec4s !

2011-07-01T20:25:00.003+08:00

I know i looked retarded, and ugly. BUT... Im happy,
'cause today, i finally said 'goodbye' to chinese.

I've done my best. But i know i could do better .
I was totally stunned when i walked out of th room, mouth hanging opened, walked like a zombie
This oral is just a confirmation of my chinese grade. It've been set anyw.
This is just, whether to add on one grade up, or downgrade.
But i know, i did my best .

PeiHwa Community Day tomorrow ! Super looking forward to it !
Cupcakes, badges, stuffs, dunking ! Im sure gonna play that ! :D
Let tomorrow be a day for me to relax. I dont wanna get upset tomorrow.

Heehee, if you didnt manage to see th words on th edictionary, it's BEN DAN .
Thats th result of studying too much . Oh, this was on th friday afternoon of th first focus.

2011-06-26T22:05:00.002+08:00

Fun time has a limit.
It's another month closer to O'levels.

2011-06-22T00:20:00.002+08:00

R.O.M.A.S
Admit it, th guy in pink loooks so gay.

I dontknow how i survived today. Terrible.
Woke up with my hands and legs aching like mad, like they're swollen.
So ... this bad feeling, pain lingers in me all day long.
Well done.

&Damn, its another day nearer to school .

Famine Camp 2011

2011-06-20T22:45:00.004+08:00

Rasa !

Harrrooowwww, so i survived 30hours without food. And idontknow how i did that .
It was a tough one this time round, 'cause i felt hungry . Unlike last year~
Anyw, i finally get to enjoy myself. Coool thou' but can be better .

2011-06-17T00:10:00.000+08:00

Gonna starve for 30hours again tomorrow.

2011-06-03T20:22:00.003+08:00

A moment of glory :')

Tempted

2011-05-30T21:36:00.002+08:00

Im sooooo tempted to paint my nails. AND GO OUT !! :D

Anyw. MT O'level finally finisheeeeedd. Heavy load off my shoulders.
Aiyahhh not that heavy lah, i dont even have th O'level feel. It feeels so normal at th hall ..
Maybe i ate too much chocolate on Sunday, that's why it chilled my nerves down too much :D

Papers were quite smooth i could say ... Except that there's loads of hiccups at Paper2 first part.
Nevertheless.. It's over ! Now have to worry my deadly 3marks LC, and oral .
But i have to relax first right !!! :D

Packed all my chinese stuffs up and put inside my cupboard.
Just pray i wont have to take it out and study again :)

Lessons as per normal tomorrow.. till next week. Deadly .
I dont have th holiday feel. 1month. How ?
It's just another month to hide :)

SPORTS DAY 2011

2011-05-29T21:53:00.003+08:00

Life couldn't be better than this; standing back there and receive my medal :)

3YEARS, IVE WAITED FOR 3YEARS. AND THIS MOMENT FINALLY CAME.
Was closed to tears when i saw Jermaine chionging. Waaaaaa :)
Undescribale. I was never that happy before. Not even my primary school's sports day.
Was so proud of myself, MOST IMPORTANTLY TH GIRLS ! <3

Was anxious when i heard MsKhrisnan said 4E2 leading !
WAS CLOSED TO TEARS. OMG.
What made me more proud is th band relay ! It was f.awesome !
Thou' we didnt make it to th best 3 timings... (lost by that few miliseconds to th 3rdposition)
But still, IT WAS F.AWESOME. You can see band leading right from th start :)

This Sports Day was th most happiest, enjoyable among all ive been thru' .
Was smiling all th way when i placed my medal in. Ahhhh~ Stands out among all my medals &trophies. :)

Ohhhhhh, it's MT O'levels tomorrow !
Goood luck to everyone taking ! :D
K it once and for all, :) All th best !
God bless all of you :)

Sad to say, im still on th road to recovery.
It's really hard. And ive to push people away from me..
Smile, everything will be better tomorrow.... :)

2011-05-22T11:52:00.003+08:00

Im th quiet type. I dont like to talk. This is myself.
So just stfu and quit trying to talk to me or what. Useless.
I wont talk unless i want to.
Leave me alone, okay . Thats th best thing i need from everyone of you .

2011-05-20T22:10:00.002+08:00

'cause there are certain things in life that are better off unknown.
Things you wished you never asked, never saw, never heard or even never felt.

Everyone will experience his/her ups and downs.
And th best way is to leave him/her alone.
Things will be alright :)

2011-05-16T21:12:00.003+08:00

Things happen for a reason.... Just believe :)

Somehow somewhat.

Somehow, I just naturally got used, and believed it happened for a reason . God's will.

And somewhat, im glad that it happened. If it didnt, things may be worst now..

Yet on th other hand, it's really saddening at times.

This is how things end..

It really contradicts alot . Be glad or not ?

Life still goes on isn't ? What for think so much ?

BE HAPPY :)

Oh pleaseee, stop being so itchyyy.

2011-05-14T21:08:00.000+08:00

Friday' 13th was awesome ! :D

AHHHHHHH~ *sigh in relief*. Finally MYE is over. Torturous mans.

Busy mugging for exams these few weeks, and im half dead everyday.

But on a side note, MYE over doesnt mean O'levels are over. 16more days to Chinese O'level.

Ohhhh yeah, Friday' 13th was awesome !

Had our last papers of MYE, AND AMATHS P2 WAS DISASTROUS.

At one moment when im running out of papers for th last 2 questions, and i felt like giving up when im trying it on th question paper itself.

Its really, ohmygod, i really stuck and was like, HUH how th hell can involve both sine and cosine.

When actually ... it's just involving toacahsoh ... Can really kill myself.

I really feel like giving up on last 2questions and go sleep. I have half an hour more to go at th time ...

Forget about papers since its over..

Had a great lunch with th girls and went SHINee shopping with Yun &Eileen while waiting for bel.

Headed back to school for band, and its really awesome seeing them, hearing them play :)

AND I WITNESS MRBENG MARKING AMATHS PAPER1,

AND WHEN ITS MY CLASS' TURN, ITS DAMN DISASTROUS.

He's marking question 5, and when it's 5b, our class only 4people managed to get it right ...

AND HOW NICE, i didnt memorize simple trigo identity, and i threw 7marks into th sea ..

I KNOW HOW TO PROVE, ahhh zzz forget it.

And MrTang specially went to make this mug for th Sec4s !

Was damn touched, 'cause this' his first time making, and WE'RE TH FIRST BATCH TO GET IT :D

Awwwww, xiexie ni. I'll treasure it well :D

Hmmmm what's next ? Papers coming back next week, hopefully.

And prepared to get more scoldings... naggings. Especially from Beng.

I wannnnt my humans paper ! And my chinese paper ! And my sciences !! idontwant maths.

I gave th celebrations over at MTS today. Well... i can go back during Teachers' Day right? :D

Band's performance over at ACC next friday night.. and i have focus.

-'- th school. Focus supposed to be yesterday, and next week we dont have.

Purposely one. Very irritating you know. ZZ

I really need to start focusing and study now.....
There's not much time to O'levels.

But th thought of studying just bores of me.

Idontknow why but, that moment i open my book, want to practice, i just yawn, and want to sleep.

WHAT'S WRONG BABY.

Okay bye. Update next time. lol

2011-05-06T23:54:00.002+08:00

"Life isn't all that bad. No matter what happens, there's always something good.

And you'll find that somehow. BE HAPPY, WHY NOT ?"

-Garrett Nickelsen.

LAST :)

2011-04-16T22:13:00.008+08:00

SPEECH DAY 2011

It was a blast ! Totally enjoyed myself yesterday, thou' was a lil pissed off with myself during lessons.
But that moment i stepped into th bandroom, everything was like *snap* super alright.
Thats why i say, what will happen to my life when there's officially no band for me ?
My mood gonna suck for th whole days. Ohnoo~

Enjoyed parade. And th waiting at th canteen for th concert ! Especially with Huda and Keldrick.
Like OMG. LMAO all th way.
Concert was a blast too ! Really like choir's songs ! :D

MEMORIES OF FRIENDSHIP WAS SUPERB !
Held my tears at th end of MOF till finale. Played MOF again for finale and my eyes were super blur.
Still controlling. SCHOOL SONG. It finally came down.
Yun was telling me after MOF to control for after that. Then finale. Then controlled, school song, cannot.
Memories of Friendship is sucha nice piece. It symbolizes our friendship in band, if you dontknow.
Especially for th sec4s, it meant a lot of us. It just symbolizes th friendship we had in band for 40months.
Those tears, joy, fun, laughter in camp, practices. Those tortures days where practiced till our lips bleed.
Those fun days where we laughed and laughed non stop, especially during camps.
Those joys we shared. Those pain we had. Those scoldings we endure. Those heartpain on us.
My band, Pei Hwa Symphonic Band.
Best. I love all of you.

I give my deeepest gratitude to MR PIP TANG.

Thank you for your guidance for these 40 months. 4years, time flies.
Remember th time i was still sec1, with a horrible attitude, rude to anyone.
Things happened and i was made to apologise to Alastair. More things happened after that.
That year of SYF where i made you angry and you walked out of th band.
That time where i wasnt allowed to join th band, and its nearing SIBF; last year.
And that time where i put down my pride and apologised to you.
Much more things happened i guess. And through all these things, ive grown ALOT.
Thanks god for giving me th strength to continue my journey in band.
Many a times i just feel like giving up, quit and get my butt down to study hard.
It's really tiring especially when its really busy, everyday got home 7+, dead tired. But lucky i hang on.
Like you said, lucky i stay on, If not you wont see th changes in me. Ultimate changes.
If not i wont be crying yesterday after my last note, crying over th results for SYF.
If not ..... IF NOT FOR YOU, THIS BAND, I WONT BE WHO I AM NOW.

Thank you for your patience in th band, in me.
You, th sec4s, th alumni are th one who witness th growth in me.
You, this band, will always live in my heart. My stay in band is really memorable, fun.
Those tears, joy, fun, laughter ;)

You know th band will forever stay in my heart :)

Busy month

2011-04-10T22:58:00.004+08:00

Hellloooooo. It have beeen a busy March and finally its time to breathe.
My life in march is practically filled with band band band, nothing else but band.
Preparations for SYF, practices practices practices and practices.
In a blink of an eye, it's April now. A month closer to Os. How scary can things be.

Lets start off with my official last band camp in my secondary school life.
2D1N and i'd ultra fun. Thanks to th newly appointed, under probation, excos !

3/4 of th reason why i enjoyed my camp is 'cause of these 3crazy people above.
Thanks god they regrouped us, and i met these crazy people. ESP KELDRICK.
I feel like slapping myself for not knowing him earlier !
AHH WELL, bonded with him :D

Exchange with SKYband on th second day of our camp. Was awesome :D

After camp was practice practice practice practice, preparing for SYF.

You know, i love my banddd.
Which band encourages their members everyday ?
Which band writes things big on th board to remind their members ?
Not only on th board itself, thru' messages, thru' band blod, thru' fb group, thru' verbally.
Which band you tell me?
PHSB :D

And finally after counting down for like so many days, 7th April finally came..

Th day where i dontwant it to come, 'cause it just meant that my days in band are getting lesser.
Th day where i laughed th most, as well as cried th most.
It's a hard fact that's hard to swallow. 'cause this meant our efforts.
Th day where it marked my wish not fulfilled.
Thru' these few months of hardwork, practices, efforts, preparations, it's really tough.
Everybody double confirmed it'll be a gold. You know, we really played very well .
My last SYF turned out to be like this. It really striked me, as well as everybody hard.
Another silver. It should be a gold. You know how much i yearn for that colour ?!
Many a times i felt like giving up and leave th band, but i just didnt. It's just for today .
You know all these preparations isnt easy.
Wellllll there's nothing i can say. It really striked me that hard. You know you knowwww.

That second when th result was announced, tears immediately dropped down.
You wont understand if you arent with th band, going thru' all these.
Unfulfilled wishes. You know its really disappointing. Especially to those who held high hopes on us.

But im great and glad that ive hold on till now. Im really proud to be in this band.
You wont know, unless you're in this band. Im really glad. Really ;)

It still hurts now with that slightest though of it.
But its useless. Now, i can only move on, and impart all my skills and knowledge i'd learn over these 3years to my juniors.
ESP MY AWESOME TECHNIC &TONGUING. I believe, they'll achieve th gold we want.

Okay i dontwant to immerse myself with tears again.
NEXT.

JUST TH DAY AFTER SYF ITS.... IFD ! Games day !

How upset th day was. But nevertheless..... it just disappeared for that few hours of games.
Im glad im in this awesome class. ;)

It was a friday, yet again. Not a happy friday where im looking forward to .
'cause it was a day where we neeed to wake up early for morning assembly, especially despite th fact that everybody was tired from all th cryings th night before.
Swollen eyes for th whole day. And anywhere during th time, at th slightest thought of that, tears just came rolling down unexpectedly.
Broke down infront of MsYeo. Expected. She saw our efforts, she knew my pain. My last SYF...
Th day was awesomely sucked up.
When im totally prepared, with a lil good mood for IFD, beng talked about SYF and there goes my mood. Down th drain.
Mrtang, bryan, Mstan, and taaddaaaahhhh. It really suck.
That sec1 sitting beside me totally shocked by th sec4s beside him tearing away madly...
Boy, you'll understand one day, when you're up there on th stage.

Games were great except th fact that im being stepped and pushed.
But it's lidddddat whatt.. Nevermind. Nevertheless, enjoyed myself.

Went over to th twins' house after IFD to bathe and 2 super funny things happened there.
Ultra madness. Headed over to Sab's house and had a belated party for her.
Had a great teeveee session with th girls' and go AHHHHHHH with our food at th teeevee.

And there goes my March and half April.
Packed.

Speeeeeeech day coming, and i dontwant it to come.
'cause it marks th day im no longer in th band, th band where th school focus on.
I wont be a player sitting infront of pip, getting scolded by him for my posture all these.
I wont be doing punishments for being late for practices.
I wont be taking part in any competition, any performances with them anymore.
An alumni and a band member, it's totally different.
I'll get used to it..

I'll sure miss my lovely band. Thru'out my 3 full years in band, i really grown up.
Really. Always in my heart :D

You know, i really wannnnt make th school proud by bringing a gold back.
I reallly want my last time in band to be a goood one, a gold.
YOU KNOW ANOTTTT. Why cant th fucking judges seeeeee our efforts.
I really want to scream and cheered loudly for th last time at th hall.
I really want to be like St Pat singing their school song proudly at th hall.
WHYY? F. TH JUDGES LIKE SERIOUSLY !

FEBRUARY

2011-02-18T21:47:00.007+08:00

Monthly update ! So.. it's FEBRUARY ! My awesome month, SWEET 16 !
Anyw. thanks guys for th prezzies/card (eileen), and th wishes on fb ! :D
AND CHAN WENWEN for you ONE AND ONLY wish to meeee ON DAY1 BEING 16 !
Was quite shocked when i reached Malaysia Custom. No messages came in.
And slowly it's wen's. One and only. WAS REALLY SHOCKED LAHHH ! NEVERMIND.

So went back Malaysia (as usual) to my Grandparents' house to celebrate CNY, &reunion.

SAW TH DATE ?! It's on my birthday ! SWEEET 16 :D
Yeahhh &my cousins were great ! :D

And surprisingly this year there's lion dance !
There's a period of time where lion dances stopped coming to every house.
But it was damn short. I was like, 'HUH? Finish alr uhhh?'.

Something new this year ! My 3rd Ahyi (yishun one) bought Sky Lanterns back !
And we lighted 3 but 1failed. My malaysian uncles were damn funny.
I WROTE MY WISHES UP THERE TOO :D
And when you looked up to th sky, there were tons of Sky Lanterns. Alot.
Very nice, i like :D

In this small house of my grandparents' in Malaysia, fun &laughter never ends.
Just by standing outside of th house, or walking near it, you can hear chattering, laughter.
There dont have any internet access (yes got, but i cant hack into th pasword),
no phone line for me, no internet cafe, no movie theater, no nothing.
Life there was just, playing badminton, cycling.
But such plain lifestyle, it's real shiok.
It's really peaceful there, especially with a jungle beside my Grandparents' house.
Such life, can you find it in Singapore? NAHHH .
:D

SO NEXT ! So i went back to Singapore on 5th Feb, just in time for Louis' 16th !
There's damn loads of cars in th highway at Malaysia, that i got super bored &i went to sleep.
And th next minute when i woke up, everything is so dark.
Not that dark, BLUEISH !

Gotta shocked with life when i got into Facebook. Super touched, thanks Wennie &Alphonse :D
Woke up super early next day, breakfast and went Ahma's house.
Then went down to Bedok to my ... some relative's house.
Daddy sent me to Bedok MRT and trained down to Dhobby to meet th below 3 !

Watched Homecoming with them and had a great laugh.
Lucky we watched ! Lucky i lost !
'thou we're sitting at th first row, BUT TH SHOW DAMN NICE ! Freaking enjoyed myself.

Went Hongkong cafe and had our dinner, and was awesome !

Walked down to Orchard Central and took th super long escalator !
AND OVERALL, I ENJOYED MY DAY :D AWESOME MUCH :D

NEXT STOP: CNY HOUSE VISITING !
Went over to XQ's house on 12Feb.
Wen, yun, amanda, pat, nicole, yihong &andrew were there too !
Blackjacked, and i didnt win much ! Lady luck wasn't on my side that morning !

Then wen yun amanda pat &xueqi came over to my houseee and mummy made sushi !
And so i became servant of th day, serving them sushis ! :D IT WAS DELICIOUS I SWEAR !!

And so i took out lil Mavis' Jenga and started playing.
Was damn awesome ! :D

So when they went back at round 3, rushed to bathe and get ready to go CHINGAY :D

At F1 pit with Wen, Yun &Pat !! WAS AWESOME ! CHINGAY 2011 !
AND YEAH I SAW MY SISSSSSSS. No big deal huh, but yeah I JUST SAW HER~
Was damn shagged after all shoutings &cheerings.
Seriously was damn quiet at my side lo. Nobody scream, nobody cheer, shout.
And when i cheer, people turned back and i've to act innocent,
To keep my image lahhh !!! Walan ayeee, i hate this kind of situation lo !
CHINGAY MUST CHEER WHAT. THIS KIND OF EVENT !!

Fireworks were nice, except th fact that th super nice were behind us.
'cause that's where th perfect view for president. ZZ

4000 sky lanterns, SUPER NICE I SWEAR :D

Yeahhhh, guess this will be, FEBRUARY.

Add on, there's common text next weeeeeeek. Torturous. OMGOSH.
March holidays coming = almost everyday band.
April, SYF coming.

Check out for th next update, prolly at March bahh ! :D

2010

2011-01-02T23:27:00.017+08:00

OBVIOUSLY its not 2010 now, 3rd Jan 2011, WHICH MEANS ONE MORE MONTH TO MY BIRTHDAY ! :D

Delayed this post for super long alr !!

ANYW. 2010 has been a fun &fulfilling year for me.
It's true, when you looked back at each year, you'll just find it a joke.

Let's start off withh... THIS !

3E2'10

ERM YUPPS ! My last year's effort, 3E2'10. Chiong so hard, &finally get in.
I HAD A CONFESSION! I went into 3E2 is just for th name, i wasnt interested in pure anyw.
HAHA its true! Still remember was struggling between E1/E2 last year ..
FOR TH NAME LAH. You think i really want come this class meh . LOL.
ANYW. Yeahhh, yah 3E2 lo. Met alot of new faces, *shrugs*. Like .. AHH !! ALDWIN :D

---

As usual, Jan was super busy; CCA Fiesta, Senior Citizens Day and stuffs.
Couldnt remember muchhh ...

SWEET 15TH on 3rd February with surprises from my awesome classmates &band.
And CNY rehearsal on my birthday !! :D

CNY concert, CNY &Valentines' Day over at Malaysia as usual .

Sec3 Level Camp ,

My 3rd time having level camps, BUT this time is over at Malaysia.
Get to know th class more, yahh, had fun lah .

---------

Had a dead holiday 'cause of my stupid cramps.
I STILL CAN REMEMBER MANSS !! Was practically lying on bed every moment.
Thanks to th stupid pills i took 'cause of th stupid level camp. zzz

HMMMM let me seee .. still got what .
Plenty of Speech Day rehearsals, &finally Speech Day .

15th May: A day out with th girls &TJC concert after that !

We walked all th way from Orchard to Dhoby, then to Victoria ConcertHall !
After concert was supper at Lau Pat Sat with Bel, Yun, Sab, Daren &Farid ! GOT LOST.
Satays and reached home 12+ ! :D

SPORTS DAY;

Was fun, and tiring (DUH). Had fun with th class AND MY LOVELY BAND !
Ran relay with th awesome people above. Enjoyed myself thou didnt manage to get into top3 .
Our band spirit just rocked that side of th stadium. BAND FTW ! :D

BAND FTW :D

FAMINE CAMP'10 !

HELL YEAHHH !! FAMINE CAMP !! &DUH, as shown, I SURVIVED.

YES, it was, FUN (?), YES IT WAS. Althou i didnt quite like my group lah~ BUT I HAD FUN !!
Went with th awesome people above, plus Chole, Hillary, Queenie, Zhihui &Abel ! :D
IM ON NEXT YEAR AGAIN :D

JUNE HOLIDAYS: BANDCAMP

First time we exco planned th camp, haha yupps !
Didnt went smoothly, &YES I STILL CAN REMEMBER !!!;
those 2nights we spend at th bandroom after everybody goes to sleep. Discussing, till 2+ !
And we went to sleep like, late 3am ?! OMGG, but it was fun lah !
Thou we faced MANY problems, BUT i still enjoyed myself :DD

BAND FTW :D

5DAYS OF AEM OVER AT SP !!

WHAAH so nice! Im currently wearing SP shirt, :P OKAY RANDOM.
I SWEAR I HAD ULTRA MUCH FUN THERE! Especially with my BESTFRIEND :D
I guess thru that, I GOT MUCH MORE CLOSER WITH HER !
Days of sniffing, theory = sleeping, theory exam = drawing, practical = taking pics.
AWWW, MEMORIES.

PHiesta 1 (Aesthetic Night),
PEIHWA'S FIRST EXTERNAL CONCERT HELD AT YST ON 16'TH JULY !!

IT WAS A BLAST, definetly ! AND WE TOTALLY ROCKED TH WHOLE STAGE !
It's my first time performing on such concert, AND IM GLAD i chose to stay on band.
And damn that incident, i actually poned band, NOT PON, but i stayed back in school :D
Really thank Jerron for chilling me down that afternoon when i knew .....
ANYW. IT WAS A BLAST, YES IT WAS, &I ENJOYED MYSELF. Im super happy.
That moment, few hours on th stage, I WONT&CANT FORGET THAT FEELING.
Thanks you guys for attending.
AND DAMN, next PHiesta is at 2012 :(
NEVERMIND, I'll join as an ALUMNI :D

BAND FTW ! :D

ADAM KHOO WORKSHOP + SIBF'10 !

Adam Khoo was fun ! Had awesome time laughing.
Left unwillingly ('cause of th fun there) for Band. SIBF !!
My first SIBF ! :D FYI SIBF is different from SYF okay ! It's INTERNATIONAL.
AND...... BAND CLINCHED TH SILVER AWARD ! HIGH SILVER, GOING GOLD !! :D
SYF next year !! GWH :D

BAND FTW :D

NATIONAL DAY PARADE/CELEBRATION'10 !

DAMN GOD, it was a torture mans !
AUGUST ! Was damn sick ! TORTURE MANSS !!!
Can still remember those days, &MY SUPER AWESOME SEXY VOICE :D
Didnt really play much during th parade &didnt enjoy myself at th canteen during th celebration.
TSKKKKKKKKKK .

-----

EOY PREPARATIONS !
Damn ZZZ lah totally. Everyday mugged till 2 to 3+ .
FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE LAH TOTALLLLY.

Disaster during middle of EOY, and it continued, till now.

And tomorrow &tomorrow &tomorrow ..

MUSICAL , &Last day of headstart !

My FIRST time going for a musical, AND THAT WILL BE MY LAST TIME !!
Damn, ITS SUPER BORING. Fell asleep during th first half.
I dont understand a single shit. Their english is ... SUPER FAST.
BORING. Lucky its not my money, if not, DAMN WASTED 15BUCKS .
SLEEPING AT ESPLANADE, HAHA.

BANDCAMP'10 !

Exco's 2nd time planning th bandcamp !
WEEEEEELLLL everything goes smoothly, no hiccups :D
But i didnt really enjoy myself lah, hahah . NEVERMIND .
There will be another bandcamp in March, PREPARING FOR SYF.
But sadly this time is not us planning :( OKAY NEVERMIND.
Your better do a goooood job ! I wannnnt enjoy myself. HAHAH

AND OHYEAH ! ENSEMBLE COMPETITION, FLUTES GOT 2ND !!
WAHAHA &MrTan praised me &Yun !! RIGHT ! WAHAH.
TOTALLY UNEXPECTED ! Jasmine played wrong note, my sound cracked.
HAHAH OMG &THATS TH FIRST TIME I CONTROLLED MYSELF FROM BURSTING.
Damn funnnnyy, YOU GUYS SHOULD SEE !! HEEEHEEE .
Stupid yunn, if she didnt shiverrr, i wont laugh, my sound wont crack ! HAHA
ANYW. HOHO, \m/ !!

BAND FTW ! :D

3E2 CLASS CHALET'10 .

Yahhh, had class chalet.
Hahah yeahh enjoyed myself there.
&Th bus ride on th first day to Pasir Ris with Milo, Nix, Yihong, Haiqal !
HEEEE ,

161210; BAND BBQ !!

Got my contacts on that day, &proceed down to Pasir Ris for band BBQ .... ;

IT WAS A DAMN BLAST !! Enjoyed myself fucking much there !!!
Just plainly one BBQ pit, my awesome bandies attracted much attention when playing taboo .
And i nearly died from laughinggg.
BAND BBQ, THATS WHERE I GOT LOST WHEN FINDING TH PIT,
AND ENDED UP FOUND BRYAN YUN EILEEN STANDING THERE WITH BOXES OF FOOD.
AND MY LUCK, HELPED THEM CARRIED ALL TH WAY TO TH PIT.
AND THAT'S WHERE MY BLUE SHOES, BECOME BROWN SHOES. DAMN TH MUDD !!
AND THAT'S WHERE I WASHED MY SHOES, AND BARE-FOOTED BACK TO TH PIT.
AND THAT'S WHERE BRYAN LEND ME HIS SLIPPERS. THANKS GOD.
Im gonna be smarter next time mans !!! TSKKKK .
ANYW, I ENJOYED MYSELF DAMN FREAKING MUCH THERE ;D

BAND FTW ! :D

171210; 2E2'09 OUTING. !

IT WAS A DAMN BLAST TOOO ! Met up with them and went Sentosa !
HAHAH And after dinnering at Vivo was th best !
Laughed super much, &YAH DUHH, sure attracted alot of attention.
AND MRT ALSO. HAHA THUMBSUPP !!

BAND PRACTICES; FILMING OF SYF VIDEO.

Band practices after th break were just simply one word; AWESOME !
DUHH, enjoyed myself SUPER AWESOME MUCH. Especially with Yun beside me :D
YEAH, and my first time doing drills with th band !! &Filming of SYF video !
This is supposed to be my second time doing it, BUTTTT.
I missed th first time, which was Sec1 that time, 'cause i was working. :P
ANYW. Had a great time standing behind ! Playing crapping with them :D
My first and last time, NICE :D

BAND FTW ! :D

BAND CHRISTMAS CELEBRATION !

Filmed th actual SYF video in th morning (going afternoon) .
WAS SUPER FUNN !! :DD HEEHEEE .
Then had Christmas celebration in th afternoon. WHERE I RECEIVED MY HAIR DYE :D
Played charade with my awesome group (above), and had loads of fun !!
Time spend with band is always, SHIOK one ! :D

BAND FTW ! :D

MERRY CHRISTMAS !

Spend my Christmas with Alphonse and Lit !
Went round Sommerset, and i had a great time :D
THANKS GUYS :)

31ST DECEMBER 2010; LAST DAY OF TH YEAR ! :D

Went out with Bel, Yun, Wen, Eileen &Sab to buy our bags in th noon .
Sab left us, &we went Sommerset to eat ! Bel left us after eating .
MRT to Orchard to Taka, &shopped there.
Lit joined us, AND LEFT. Walked to Orchard Central and Alphonse joined us.
Slacked at Mos Burger and LAUGHED DAMN MUCH THERE.
DUHHH, just made a nuisance there :P HEEHEEE .
MRT back to CityHall (our first stop!!) Walked to esplanade, then Marina Square.
Settled there. Macs for dinner, and stayed at there till 2011 ! :D
DUH, obviously i enjoyed myself super much there rights !!
Played games, laughed, talked, crapped, HAHHA.
MY GLOWSTICK STILL GLOWING NOWW !! :D

Fireworks were awesome !! But it seemed bird shit to me.
HAHA, Daddy sent Eileen, Wen &Yun home, AND IM HOME AT FREAKING 3AM.
And i freaking slept near 4. AND WOKE UP 330PM !
AND TADAAAH, IT'S A NEW YEAR.
LOL, FAIL.

I LOVE MY FRIENDS LAH CAN :D

NEW YEAR RESOLUTION !

Take a look back at my 2010 new year resolution;

~~Get good results! better still if can maintain now de standard.~~

~~DONT SLEEP IN CLASS !~~
get my flute better
no more troubles !

OBVIOUSLY i failed th first two.... OBVIOUSLY LAHH.
I didnt even get into top80s, not even top90s, NOT EVEN TOP100S,
zzzz i fail seriously mans. SEE HOW MUCH I SLACKED.
SEE HOW MUCH I FREAKING DROPPED. From 16th position dropped till 100+. FUCK MANS!
Not even BURSARY award this year, damn shit lah.
From Scholarship become nothing, Shit this shit mans !

AIYAH no point regretting nowww, whats done is done.
FORGET IT. Shall chiong next year. I WILL OKAY !
Gonna get back th place i used to stand. Top 20, YES, better watch out mans.

AND OBVIOUSLY, i improved my flute skills ~~this~~ last year right !
AND OBVIOUSLY, i didnt got into troubles in school~
No more calls from school calling my parents to come down to th school .
HEEHEE, AWESOME ME :D

2011 RESOLUTION ?
BE HAPPPY ! YES BE HAPPY, &I WILL !
Started off 2011 with cheers and laughters &im sure these will go with me thru'out this year :D

2009's WEIRU's back ! Watch out :D

BYE 2010 !
&im not gonna come back on blogger UNLESS some big events happened.
YEAH, bye :D

2010-12-25T00:39:00.008+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL :D

May your Christmas sparkle with moments of love, laughter and goodwill.
And may the year ahead be full of contentment and joy.

I enjoyed my Christmas with Alphonse &Lit, hope you enjoyed yours too :D

Have a Merry Christmas world :)

2010-11-07T00:39:00.009+08:00

HAPPY 15th BIRTHDAY YUNN &WENN !! :DD

Gimme this holiday, 2months;
I'll sort out my feelings, thoughts, emotions, mind, attitude, behavior, everything,
putting them aside &start everything afresh .
And let go of all th sadness, pain that's killing me inside.
&Not you controlling my mind, thoughts, everything. But it's myself .
I've longed to be happy, pure happiness .
It have been sooo long since i laugh everyday .. Yes, everyday. Not one day only .

2months; since it's a holiday, not gonna meet humans everyday, that's good.
Neeeeeeed get myself, and sort everything out .
I need to be back on th track. i've been missing out alot of things ..
Been in my own world, that i've lost track of time ..

Soon ? I dare not say so. 2months ago, you, she, he, I all, said everything will be okay, SOON .
This time round, by hook or by crook, everything's gonna be fine soon, in/after 2months .

So many things happened during these few months.
So many fallbacks. No, once. &im lazy to climb up .
Deceiving myself as each day past. Naive or dumb or what ?
Running against time; I'm exhausted .

It's sure gonna be tough, going thru all these alone.
It's okay, i'll be back as one, WEIRU will be back :D
Back till where i laughed, joke, sing, crap, talk every single day.
Back till where im famous for my laughter, famous for sleeping in class .
Back till where th nerd me, chionging for studies, just to get into top20s.
Back till where happiness, was what i had every single day.

Missed it, totally. It was ... carefreee last year. Laughing at class all day nonstop, everyday.
*BOOOMSH,backtoreality* EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE OKAY.

@http://renelyjoy.blogspot.com/ :
"Many times when I think back how we met, how we've gone through things, how life have changed you and me,
just make me wanna thanks you for leaving. Thanks for letting me to learn how to stand strong,
thanks for letting me to believe, to have faith and to move on.
I hope you never stop giving up to dreams. One day, if you start to miss me, remember, I didn't walk away, you let me go.."
Perhaps life have changed only me, but not you.
Maybe you wont miss me. But remember, it's you who let me go this time round. I didn't walk away .
Thanks for always being there for me, thanks for stretching yourself 'cause of me, thanks for tolerating everything.
Yes, put this to a stop. You're tired, neeeda life. I'd enough of everything too, am hurt too.
I'm sorry for being sucha bad ass. Thanks for th past 9months of friendship, of everything.
It's hard, but im learning; to let everything go, to open up again .
But if you ever looked back, or what. I'm still here, perhaps ..

Let this fallback teach me a lesson. To become stronger .
Thanks, you .

2months, &I'll be back. 2011 will definitely be a better year, i presume.
Should i look forward to my birthday ?

2010-11-04T20:58:00.003+08:00

Never should have let you go, never found myself at home.
Ever since that day that you walked right out the door.
You were like my beating heart that i, i can't control
Even though we've grown apart, my brain can't seem to let you go .
Thinking back to th old times, when you kept me up late at night
We used to mess around; laugh and play, fuss and fight .
I guess it's too late, i'm dancing this dance alone..
This chapter's done, the story goes on ..

Baby, can't believe that you are not with me.
'cause you should be my lady, all i want is to set your heart free
but if you believe that you belong with him; promise me, you won't let anyone hurt you
Remember, i will always be here for you. Even if it kills me to see you in that wedding dress,
Oh, see you in that wedding dress. See you in that wedding dress.
Oh, see you in that wedding dress. Oh noo...

Snapping out this misery, depression this ain't me.
But i always turn around 180degrees
You got control me and i, i can't explain
Somebody call 911 emergency, before i go insane ..
Since you've moved on, you took a piece of me, give it back
So much pain in my chest blacking out, heart attack .
I guess it's too late, i'm dancing this dance alone ..
It's too late..

Baby, can't believe that you are not with me.
'cause you should be my lady, all i want is to set your heart free
But if you believe that you belong with him; promise me, you won't let anyone hurt you
Remember, i will always be here for you. Even if it kills me to see you in that wedding dress,
Oh, see you in that wedding dress. See you in that wedding dress.
Oh, see you in that wedding dress. Oh noo...

And i see you with your man and it's hard to understand
If we belong, if i did you wrong, where we even began
We would always fuss and fight and it seems nothing was right
But i loved you girl; and you were my world, but you'd never trust this guy
'cause the things i do when i'm on the stage, they say i'm a superstar
You couldn't understand all the female fans and then we grew apart
And i just don't get when you're acting like some other person
But i try my best to hold on at the times when it ain't working .
And everytime that you say it's over it breaks my heart and i dontknow why
'cause you've done it alot of times in th past, but i get back up and try
You said we could work it out, how could you hurt me now ..
And you moved on to th next, i'm left with an imperfect smile .

But if you believe that you belong with him; promise me, you won't let anyone hurt you
Remember, i will always be here for you. Even if it kills me to see you in that wedding dress,
Oh, see you in that wedding dress. See you in that wedding dress.
Oh, see you in that wedding dress. Oh noo...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajwysqa9EIE

2010-10-30T22:46:00.003+08:00

Define your meaning of 'friends' then.
HAH forget it. Sympathy ? yah i think so, right from th start .
I no need that, i guess so .

Why am i feeling so fucked up.
Forget it, forget it, forget it. I dont want try anymore.
I'm just gonna get myself to live in my thoughts,
If you still bothers, you'll come talk to me.
If not, then just let you stay in my heart like this.

BYE BLOGGER:D

2010-10-29T20:07:00.007+08:00

Happy Birthday Bestie, ILOVEYOU :D

Nothing much. Updating more on tumblr.
Find it if you can, be smart :D

A week plus; getting used (?)
Convincing &forcing myself to accept th fact that you wont bother anymore.
Hard, it's hard. Time ?
Guess no matter how much time there is, part of me will still be holding on, still misses you .

&OH! Ouch, i cut my thumb yesterday night. Guess i was too tired.
Was making a fuss out of it today at band. EH, i swear it was pain okay .
&th cut was 3cm long. tskkk,

Used to tell you every lil things.
&now i had to urge myself to keep within me, to myself .
'cause knowing how everything changes, you wont bother anymore..

It's just living life everyday, watching every single day pass itself.
Hi, you took away my sunshine. When are you returning back to me ?

2010-10-23T23:47:00.003+08:00

Can't believed ive been fooled around, right from th start .
Naive to believe in every single thing.
Fooled around, by you .
Thanks for everything .

I lost. Goodbye world .
I'll be back, when I'm back to myself.
Tumblr will be my new friend from now .

Till then .

2010-10-23T21:29:00.002+08:00

Totally ..

"It's because you really love somebody, that's why you'll let go."
No . Totally wrong logic . Idont believe in this . 'cause it do hurts a lot .

2010-10-22T21:57:00.003+08:00

But it seems I'm not needed in yours anymore ..

I don't understand how you can smile all day long but cry yourself to sleep at night.
How pictures never change but the people in them do.
How your best friend can become your worst enemy, or how strange it is when your worst enemy turns into your best friend,.
How forever turns into a few short months that you'd do almost anything to get back.
How you can let go of something you once said you couldn't live without.
How even though you know something is best for you, it just hurts the same.
How the people who once wanted to spend every second with you, think a few minutes of their time is too much to spare.
How people make promises despite knowing how common it is for promises to be broken.
How people can erase you from their lives just because it's easier than working things out .

know what, I cant . I still cant .

Well, school wasn't as great as it seems to be .
Woke up late, and rushed to school like maddddd. &yeah, i was late. whocares .
I was standing th first today ! Oh, it was scary. I was trembling .
Received AEM cert. haha gotta B. Guessed it's my practical that pulls me up.
'cause my theory is a piece of shit. Drawings all over th place. My group mates should know :)

&it cut me like a knife, when you walked out of my life .

Results were all back yesterday. Wasn't as good as it should be.
Wasn't as bad as i predicted. But was as i expected, i didn't clear those subjects .
But it still makes me able to promote uh ?
Once my strongest subject, now turns to be my weakest .
Humiliation. Disappointment. Failure. All sorts of feels struck me.
I know i can't think that for long, it's not going to change. Move on .

But th fact about you, about what has happened, i still &can't move on . Hi there, I'm still stuck here .. :(

Best part is, I failed. haha, yeah laugh at me world. Point your fucking fingers at me.
For all, i don't care. It just seems that, my efforts are nothing.
Nights of 3hours+ of sleep, spending my time, hoping to get back my standard.
No, none. Yes i got back some things; disappointment, the feel of being a failure .
Once my best, now my worst. haha how things changes, how mind changes, so fast, so fast .
Heartache is all i felt when anybody mentioned it. No, i did not cry . Managed to held it back .

'cause its hurting me to do as what you said, let it go.

Guess mummy don't even bothers about me now, all her mind was SIS SIS SIS, Os Os Os .
Never mind, i no need such attention from her too . Leave me alone, that's better .
What's now, the quietness, leave it this way . I really hate crowds now ..

Maybe 'cause we spend so much time, everyday was just youyouyou&you, that i find it hard to accept, there's no more now ..

School gonna end in another week. 2010 coming to an end.
This year sucks. Real sucks . 2010 sucks big time .
Looked back, what I've really positively gained this year ? GL skills ? haha ,
Lost more than gained perhaps. 2more months, please change everything . comebackplease:((

I'm not strong enough. I don't have the courage to accept th change .

Band wasn't really awesome today . Fatigue struck me, and i dozed off during practice.
A week, guess I've used upp all my energy. Time to sleep to th max.

Never never show how pathetic you're without him. Sorry, everything shown in my face. Tried to hide, but it seems so hard .

Stupid haze got my eyes super irritatedd .

Can't figure out how you stole my heart .

Sometimes, the best memories are sad, 'cause you know it'll never happen again .
Never did i know looking back on th laughs would make me cry.
I guess I'm just missing th old times... missing youu ..

maybe i should have just guessed that you won't reply. 'cause you're different now.
I preferred th old you. But what's th point. Everything's just one sided perhaps .
You're far away now .. Imissyou,

2010-10-22T21:00:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, someone comes into your life that changes everything.
He's able to make you smile, laugh, and allow you to be yourself.
There's something about him that is unexplainable; and even though you're not even with him, you don't want to let him go ...

I should have know it earlier, it's not me.
I should have know it earlier, you're not gonna reply .
I should have know it earlier, so that i won't expect too much .
I should have know it earlier, so tha...

2010-10-21T21:19:00.003+08:00

Guess that's th only way left.

Tomorrow gonna be a long day, 12hours in school.
Currently PSI 108. Damn irritatingggg, irritates my eyes alottt .
I didnt know this haze was going on till, yesterday ?!
I thought my degree went up, or my specs got handprints.
haha, blur or gone into my own world, that idont even know whats happening outside ..

I can hardly open my eyes nowwwww.
Ultra painn, &irriatatingg .!

Im gonna smile, thou it hurts inside .

2010-10-21T17:42:00.002+08:00

Perhaps, everything is really gone..

I feel so empty, alone, depressed.
But nobody knows, 'cause i cover it all up with a fake smile, a fake laugh ..

Ever know what's in my mind whole day long ? No.. never

Ever know what's th feeling im having inside ?
No. Who will ? haha

Where's my courage.I want to, but guess i've used up all my courage. Sorry, im not as daring as before anymore . never did i expect this.

My results suck big time. HAHA. So what ?!
Cry and make a big fuss over it too ?!like what your all did ?! sorryidontwantseekattention,justtogetc&c?!==
Even if i jump down th building now, guess nobody will notice. &simplethingslikethat,allrealised.
HAHAH, maybe i should try. YEAH, life sucks a big time now .
Who really cares? Yeah, i think newborn-ed baby also can count. HAHA

Tell me what i saw in you was not real. I cant bring myself to accept, that you moved on so fast ?! or what.

Haze. Good, PSI till 100, no need go school.
No need me to face sucha harsh reality, harsh fact .

I.dont.want. I really dont wish to. How can one change so fast.. sighh

Suck up reality. Guess I'm being stubborn again .
Hi, this hurts. &hi, please come backk :(

idontdare, i really dontdare. I'm afraid ...

2010-10-20T21:35:00.002+08:00

Give me my life back, give me my everything back.
For my life was once filled with laughters, smiles and colors. Never as dull as now .
I want my colorful life back, I want my sunshine, my laughter, smiles, everything back .

Moved on ? sucha speed.

You let go and took everything with you, and move onn .
Give.me.back.my.life
Give.me.back.my.everything

Frankly speaking, what am i to you ? How can you move on that fast. haha

2010-10-19T22:43:00.003+08:00

Now im telling you, letting go isn't a solution .
Adding on to th pain, everything only . Ease off ? Not that easy .
Continue, it'll get better . Do i really look so bad ?

You're not going off like this.
Remember what i wrote, no matter what, dont let go . &here you are.
Remember what, you promised you'll learn piano and play for me .
You're so not going off like this ..

Guess you don't even bother noww ..
Nevermind, you need time, i give you .
How long, months, a year, or what, i give you .
Will be here .

2010-10-19T20:59:00.003+08:00

How can someone that's suppose to make you feel so complete, end up leaving you so empty ?

Idontknow what to do. Yesterday seems to be a total nightmare ..

Workshop was ....

After yesterday, idontthink we'll ever talk again ..But when we do, it's not the same.
Know what's th worst part? It's that we used to talk everyday ...

Should have stayed at home and watch my drama,
&settle down my emotions, thoughts, everything ..

I cant even held my head high up and look at you openly, like what i used to do .
We don't look at each other anymore.
I remember how it used to be, it keep appearing in my mind, but do you ?

Everything running wild in my mind.
Things, words, pictures, memories popping out in my mind anytime .

Stop leaving me alone to let me live in my own world alone .Stop hiding me away from your everything ..
I dont want to be alone .. You once said im never alone, 'cause you're always here .. where youu ..

And at those moments, tears were ready to fall anytime .
I should have stayed at home ..
Guess im still not ready to face th reality, th fact ..

You know that i want you; you know that i need you ..
Tell me you'll be back soon, 'cause im still waiting .

2010-10-18T22:50:00.007+08:00

Guess school tomorrow will be hell for me .
and tomorrow, and tomorrow and tomorrow .

Manymuch more to say .
Guess i just dont have th courage to say it out .

I screwed everything up, with my own hands, my own thoughts, my words, everything .
I'll wait, and wait and wait and wait. I cant bear to give everything up, like. this.

Replaced. who else can replace me ?
You know it yourself. 'cause soon, as time pass, i know, ill be replaced .
'cause ill soon fade away .. if this continues .

'cause its my turn now. Guess it's karma .
God give me sucha good person, treated me gently . &there i was, screwing things up .
I'm sorry. Yes, no point, but im still sorry .
I've learnt, i know, i realized .
I'll be a good girl .
please .

so what you bear to, i cant .
can you? can you really just do as you say ?
if you really can face all these, then im arent anything, worth big much at all .

I'll wait, cause you have not yet to bring me around Singapore :D

2010-10-18T15:44:00.003+08:00

Hi all, im tired .

but still, gonna talk everything out later on .
'cause im afraid school tomorrow will be hell between us ..

Realised ? It have been a week ...

2010-10-17T19:41:00.007+08:00

All i can do now, is to pray pray pray &prayy as each day, hour, minute, second, pass by .

What do you do when th only one that can make you stop crying,
is th person who made you cry ?

know what, th whole world can hurt me, only you cant ..

2010-10-17T00:15:00.002+08:00

Not anymore. Sorry .
I would rather get used to it, than finding myself in tears again .

Noone, except myself.

Words; say is easy, will i able to do that ?
Idontknow. 'cause it seems nothing, that makes me feel like giving up.
Iwant to continue, I should be. Idontknow, it seems so tired .
Why, why why why why why &why .
Oh stop it weiru .

I'm supposed to be happy, &not drowning myself into tears &thoughts again .
Idontknow, my head's spinning, my vision is blur, everything's shaking.

Stuck .

Rewind; turn back time. Can i ?
Please, stop this torture.
Hurts me a thousand times ..

I was waiting, 'cause i remembered what you once said .
Looks like you've forgotten, or, lies .

So hard, so hard .

Felt like i was just a victim .

2010-10-16T21:17:00.004+08:00

Backfired.

I feel nothing ..
Everything's so empty inside .
Why ..

Hang on hang on ..

Guessed i've used upp all my courage ..

th feeling of being replaced, is so strong.
Tell me im wrong. comeonn ..

2010-10-16T15:15:00.003+08:00

So what th past was filled with many excitement, fun, laughter . its th past .
I thought i was able to move on, &stop thinking back. But no, wasn't really able to do that .

Believe;
I have to keep moving on.. what's th point where i cannot accept everything.
one sided perhaps. no, idontknow. &idontwanttoknow.

I've used up all my courage. That now, simple things i also dare not to do ..
Used to, but not now .
Never, never was it like now, like today .

Stop, stop all these .
I'm afraid ..

2010-10-16T11:29:00.001+08:00

2010-10-15T20:20:00.002+08:00

If everyday can be like today ...

My sleep was disturbed for a thousand times todayy .
&my head went crazyyyy .
Spent my time watching Endless Love till 3 .

Watched Child's Eye 3D with Bel, Nix &Lit .
Heh, had funn with themm . awesome :)
Movie was awesome too ! Got scared quite few times :P
Th stupid 'dog face child'. &th guy shook crazily at th bed, &his tongue dropped down on th bedd.
Productive, watched till full full . except th ending was.... shall not spoil everything :P
Ass guys, hadd loads of fun, laughs with them :)
THANK YOUUUU :)))))))))))
It've been a long time..

Shall start planning my holidays, my time ..
Got quite a number of places i want go. remember ?
Hope i wont be going alone..

It've been so long since my blogspot is coloured, with :)
Guess it's really time, to be happy back again.
~~For th sake of everybody, for those who cares *if theres*,~~ okay forget it.
For th sake of MYSELF .
My head's going crazy with me these few daysss .

OH, i feel so weird not studying.
now im hooking up on th internet, not knowing what to do .
Dramas? hahah.
Used to have so many things to do on th net.. &now .
nevermindnevermind :))

things will change, will will .
Im willing, to give in everything, even if its calling me to die, i will.
ill put, give in everything, to get back to th past. i hate whats going on now.
I.hate.silence..

2010-10-15T11:30:00.001+08:00

2010-10-14T20:22:00.002+08:00

If i can, i will. I would want to put a stop to all my thoughts and be myself .
I dontknow why, why im feeling so hurt. I choose to hurt myself in this way..
Guess it's too late to turn back .

Everything seems to be a dream.
Someone slap me awake please ..

Exams are over, so what .

Forget a grand entrance. Everybody knows it’s the exit they’ll remember.

2010-10-13T22:58:00.009+08:00

My mind is gone, I'm spinning round
And deep inside, my tears I'll drown

I couldn't avoid any longer.
It has got to come, 'cause its tomorrow that everything finishes.
Face it, face it . I gotta be strong; cry and let it go .

My mind, my brain, everything's killing me.
Thoughts; many atimes today, even during exams, im in th verge of breaking down .
Going to school, start of paper, end of paper, anytime anywhere .
&even a short nap, i still cried myself to sleep .
I hate going home . Environment, th air, not good.

Okay enough of me blabbering.
I'm sorry ...

itgotmethinking,aroundthpapers,aroundthtime.
amireallythatunreasonable. maybeireallyneedtoreflect.
orperhapsthisisme?idontknow
idontwantitseemslikeisforcingyou,no..
nevermindnevermind,soonsoon..

2010-10-13T15:20:00.005+08:00

Take a step back. Look at yourself. You're human. You are beautiful. You're so beautiful. And you can be anything. You can be everything. Do not hate everyone because someone broke your heart, or because your parents scolded you, or your best friend betrayed you, your father hit you, the kid down the street called you fat, ugly, stupid, worthless. Do not concern yourself with things you cannot control. Cry when you need to then let go when it's time. Don't hang onto painful memories just because you're afraid to forget. Let go of things that are in the past. Forget things that aren't worth remembering. Stop taking things for granted. Stop taking life for granted. Live for something. Live for yourself. Fall in love. Fall out of love. Fall in love. Fall out of love. Do this over and over until you know what it really is to love someone. Question things. Tell people how you really feel. Sleep under the stars. Create, imagine. Inspire. Share something wonderful. Meet new people. Make someone's day. Follow your dreams. Live your life to it's full potential. Just live, dammit. Let go of all the horrible things in your life and fucking live. And one day, when you're old, you'll look back with no regrets.

Last two papers tomorrow, &that's it.
Screwed up both papers today, yesterday.
Wasn't really in th right mind to sit for th papers. But apparently, i still gotto .

Know what, i really wish this exam is not gonna end, hold it longer.
So that i can continue mugging late at night, with 2,3 hours of sleep only.
So that i can hide my sorrows, drain all my energy, so nothing can be felt.
So that i can feel so tired that in my mind, everything was just, iwanttosleep. &nothing else.
So that i can have a good long sleep after friday, &resume mugging as usual.
So that i can have some peaceful time with myself at th night .
So that, i can run away from this world ..

Now, all i want is a good sleep. Just for one night will do.
I want to sleep good, and forever, dont wake up.
I dontwant to fear, for th following night, im gonna drown myself with tears to sleep againn.
My eyes have been hurting these few days.
I have been sleeping late, not 'cause of mugging, but to let daddymummy go to bed peacefully.
Till then i know, nobody's looking at me..
'How i wish someone was beside you. Because what you need most now
is a warmth hug from someone right? A sister of course.'
yeahh, how i wish bel, or whoever was here with me these nights. a shoulder to cry on.. a warmth hug,
tell me everything's gonna be okay soon. tell me to stay strong, tell me, . gonna be with me no matter what happened. i just need it,

everything's right, J's right. I got to let go after crying ..
I cant hold on to this painful news. Cry, and move on.
Why. I must stop questioning myself why, why why &why.
Im just hurting myself more..
Whatmore can i say, Noone, but myself.

2010-10-12T18:19:00.004+08:00

why for all th care &concerns i received till now , one was never once from you .
You used to be th one, caring &concerning me.. whatsup now.
Tell me where i went wrong this time.
'cause i hang up first? Sudden change in attitude which you dislike, ignore you, dao you isit.
Idontknow why ill react that way, i really dontknow.
You see, i never learn my lesson.
So are you giving me a lesson now? so that ...
Icantcontrolthiseither... you know it.

Idontknow why im feeling so lost.
Be it what happened in th past, you never fail to ask me cheerup.
What's wrong noww.. you said always, you promised. where's you promise..
When im on th verge of breakingdown, where's you.
Iexpect those texts, one of it will be you, asking whatswrong ..
I knew expectations will bring disappointment, but why ami still expecting so much .
She's upset. hello, so am i. Are you feigning ignorance or what.
Youknow how much i yearn for at that time, where tears are falling anytime..
but why, why. ...

Perhaps it's karma. Ireallydontknowwhattodo ...
You're treating me back th way i used to treat you . yes, i know it sucks, i know.
Please stop. enough.

No worries, ill remember it for life .
'cause you're th one who speed up my tears from comingdown,
speedup th day where im gonna breakdown.
Thanks alot, thanks thanks alot.
Worse still,th one who always always ALWAYS said that will be there for me, lend me a shoulder to cry on if need, a pair of listening ear.
Always there to bring me back again if i feel lost ...

Perhaps its me, that didnt tell you whats wrong, you didntknow what to do.
You know it, why must i say out.. if i were to say out, whats there to mean about, being there for me.
It just states that, you dont understand me. itoldya, im different from everyotherpeople. i dosaywishhope things differently.
Lies, lies, lies...

till then, i found out that ive actually never grow up before, never really see how th world looks like before..

2010-10-11T21:02:00.005+08:00

Iseriouslydontbelonghere.Everythinggoessowell, soareyou.
Imfeelingsuperhurtnow,noreasons.imveryhurt .
Ifeellikecamouflagingtothworld&disappear.
Anyw.nobodywillnotice.
Whatever.

Imthmostsuckishiest,fuckingbitch,slut,inthworld.
Unreasonable,selfish,intolerant,attitudeproblem,guailan,crazy,anythingyou-veyoucanthinkof.
Ijustcamouflageinsonicely,sosonicely.
Ignore me.Imalousyfriend,whocanignore&treatyoulikeshitanytime.
Imabitch,whoattitudesyouwithnoreason.
Imaslut,whowalks&dothingsinasluttyway.
Imnotevenahumanithink.
Ignoreme,&illignoreyou.
Wait,who'sthonewhostartedignorancefirst,meisint.dumb.

Sowhatimstillwaitingfor.formiraclestohappenitself?
Expectingmorethings?Iknowdisappointmentisalligonnagetback,yetistillexpectthingstohappen.

Idontknowhy,whyithurtssomuch.
Forgetit,Ileave.Irathernotspoilthosegoodatmosphere.Ichoseitthisway.

Let it be this way, ill be finesoon .

Icantbelieve. howcouldyou.

2010-10-11T18:42:00.004+08:00

Im on th verge of tears now.
I dont understand why. why i reacted in sucha manner.
Why everything bothers me so much .
Why you can manage my emotions so well; happy sad frustrated all these .
Why, why. I really hate myself. It's my problem again
Why i reacted in sucha way or WHY WILL I EVEN REACT IN THAT WAY.
I dont understand. Idontget it. I hate this way. I hate myself.
If it wasnt for my fucking feelings.
I dont learn my lessons. Not once, but many other times.
I tried to control, but i cant. i want to breathe &smile. but why on th hell its troubling me so much.
Controlled me too much. I hate myself.
Im th world suckishiest bitch.

Idontknow why, im feeling so damn hurt now. Idontknowwhy.
I want let tears come out, but i cant. i cant.
Iwant to sleep, &never wake up.
I chose it this way, to run away from this fucking world.

Sometimes i wonder, why .
I cant get into deeper &deeper. It's pulling me downdowndown.
Sometimes i ponder, should i.
It's better i suffer now, then later.
Maybe i should.

Torturous. I feel like popping sleepingpills, &get a good sleep. not wake up again.
I hate to face this world. I hate to face everyone. I dont like.
I hate this world. I hate everyone.

Forget it, i cant sleep . Change plan; gonna mug th whole night for chem
If i cant sleep for long, then let me torture myself with no sleep .
I dont want to feel anything. Not any single hurt on me.

Bye world.

2010-10-11T01:12:00.002+08:00

Sometimes people tell you they care.
Sometimes people tell you they love you.
Sometimes people say they want you.
Sometimes people say they will catch you when you fall.
Sometimes people say they will never leave you.
Sometimes people say they will never hurt you.
Sometimes people say they would die for you.
Sometimes people say that you are worth it.
Sometimes people say it's going to be okay.
Sometimes people say you are the one sight they never tire of.
And sometimes people lie.

Im starting to stop believing.
'cause everything is gonna turn into a lie ..
Who's gonna get hurt in th end ?
me..

2010-10-10T23:18:00.002+08:00

Nothing special about today. nothing at all .
For once i was hoping something big will happen &cheers me up.
None, worse still, spoil my mood.
Yah right.
forget it, *take in deep breathe &smileee*
Cannottttt get irritated, i cant .

Have been studying history, yet nothing goes in .

gonna mug tonight again, cya.

yahright, it have always been my problem .
Yeah i shouldn't have called in th first place, spoiling my own mood.
I rather be th one who hang first, then th one knowing gonna be hung.
Just that fucking one sentence; why did it affect me so much .
forgetitforgetitforgetit, chill chill .

itsalwaysme,onesided.
fuckoff

2010-10-10T20:33:00.003+08:00

sometimes you just gotta put on that smile, no matter how hurt, how sad you're.

2010-10-09T22:39:00.003+08:00

so in th first place i shouldn't have expected muchh ..

Fucklife.

2010-10-08T17:59:00.003+08:00

I got to, have to, and i must.. but it seems impossible .

Everything just fucked me up &down .
I thought i was strong, i thought i can, i will and i am strong .
I thought i was, i thought i can, i will hang onn till next week .
But it turns out not.
It got me down so much. Everything was just too hard, too fierce .

Went downn for a walk before history acer start, wanting to take in fresh air .
To clear my mind, to clear every unhappiness.
But it turns out not. 'cause i brought an empty mind downn .
I cant find anything inside.
Lo-loo-lo-lostt .

I wonder why am i feeling so hurt .
'cause of that fucking ss paper ? Or not enough sleep .
Idontknow, cause life fucked me so hard that i cant feel a single shit .
I chose it this way isnt it.
To drain all my energy out by not sleeping, so i cant feel any other feelings .
Yeah right, i cant differentiate what im feeling now.
Tired, sad, hurt, happy, angry, frustrated, or what .
Idontknowww.

Im feeling so hurt, so damn fucking hurt.
Okay it's getting better nowwww. thanksnxonnn :)
sometimes, nothing means got things. silence means .....
know th opp terms darlingg.

I need my confidence to be up againn .
It brought me down so much,
that i feel like giving up everything that's gonna happen after today

Im so damn freaking tired that when i dontfeellike opening my eyes .
And oh, this is stupid. i thought im gonna mug (again) tonight, &there's school tomorrow.
Guess im really damn freaking tired that, everything inside gone, opposite way .

Nights world .

justwhenithoughtyou'dcomeover.
ithavealwaysbeenthisway,alonefacingeverything.
isntit.donttellmewhatevercraps,everythingisarewaswerelies.

2010-10-08T01:31:00.004+08:00

I say to myself 'idontcare' but i cried a million tears at night.
I say to others 'imfine' but my heart knows im not.
I put a smile on my face, acting like im okay but deep down inside im hurt more than ever.
I can cry thru th pain, smile like everything's fine, laugh my head off.
But life is too short to be anything buy happy.
But sometimes i just got too tired of being happy every single day.

Early morning (again) .
It have been th .. [sun-mon, mon-tue, tue-wed, wed-thur, thur-fri]...
5th day since ive been.. ahahha yahh .
Not much sleeeeep. But i managed to survive this week.
ohwait, too early to say, there's still "TOMORROW", well i mean, later onn .

The show must go onnn..
Im so afraid everything will go in th opp. direction tomorrowww.
Please dont, please god ...

Today is sucha tiring dayyy ...
&it's SS AND EMATHS P1 tomorrowwww, i mean later on..

The insecure feeling i had now for tomorrow, is undescribable.
Im so not gonna breakdownnn &hangon till tomorrowwwww.
And flungggg everything out i know, i memorize, i understand out.
AND ILL SCORE WELL RIGHT. for th majority nights spend, is on SS .
fuckyou if i flunk .,

Alrights, shall continue with my essayyyy .
&do some maths then off to sleeep
yeah sleep,what time ? 3/4 .
hahah

2010-10-07T02:22:00.004+08:00

all in my mind is onlyyy; idontwanttosleep.

It's 0225 in th early morning nowww.
Hello people~
Im here mugging ss, trying to get this bloody one paragraph in my headd.
But apparently i failed. cause its going 1hour, &one paragraph still not inside.
My memory is failing me, or isit my brain is tiredd ?
idontknowidontknowidontknowwwwwwww .

anyw. HAPPY BIRTHDAY NIXONNN !! :))
thanks for passing down th guailan-ness to me :D

today was ultra boring, 4periods of maths, can you imagine ?!
Beng took over that assembly &FT for his maths. previously have 2maths periods already .
Im going bonkers, seeing numbers &numbers everydayy every second.
&worst still when i dont understand a single shit.
This shows im totally not prepared for this friday's paper.
Not even ss im prepareddddd yet .

tomorrow's gonna be a hectic day. guess i wont be listening in class most of th time.
Either sleeping, or trying to get that bloody ss into my headd .
I really want to score well.
trust me, if my ss results doesnt meet my standard, ill make a nuisance of it.
trust me, i will. i spend my nights doing ss, studying. please. please prove me right.

Okay everything seem to be blurrie &shaking now.
Guess im really veryvery tired. not emotionally &physically &mentally,
its my eyes that's tireddd. I still have th energy to continueee down till 6.
Shall get th last part correct, make sure i know this para &off i go to sleep.
Perhaps 3? ohhh great, im left with 3hours of sleep.
Well done.

I am a strong girl who keeps my stuff in line. Even when i have tears going down on my face, i always managed to say those two words, "IM FINE".

2010-10-05T20:44:00.005+08:00

&ill be strong, even if it all goes wrongg..

Dear life, I lost th truth today .
I never been on my own that way, just sat by myself all day.
&&Lies, whatever you said are lies isnt ?
I cant, i cant bring myself to convince myself, everything's gonna be okayy .

Hellooooooo, chinese paper 1,2,3 sucks today .
Screwed, i screwed my eoy real hard this timeeee.
2papers only, &im like, gg,com
howhowhowwwwwwww.
If im gonna flunk my ss, im sure gonna make a big fuss &end of world.

Stayeddddd till 230 lastnight to complete th next 2 SS essays.
Didd 2history essayss in school just now, &1 SS.
So i've 7 SS essays now ! i wonder why i go &do . waste of my time.
I just neeed memorize 2 down in my headd &read thru th others.
Never mind never minddddddddddddd.

Yesterday night wasnt enoughhh, gonna mug again tonight .
This time round im gonna make full use of my time. !
Gonna look thru emaths from th start .
I must scoreeee.
Okay no sleep tonight :)

Pray i can get myself out of th bedd tomorrowww
&concentrate throughout th lessons tomorrow.
Bless me :)

&you just dont understand this one lil simple concept of girls; th opp of words.

2010-10-04T20:28:00.002+08:00

Even though I’m broken inside,
I still continue to pursue to make everyone around me feel better about themselves and there thoughts.

English papers todayyy.
No comments about it. Just pray i wont fail ..

Did 3 SS essays last night, till 140am .
And im not tiredddd =. = but my hands were .
Never minddd, shall continue another 3todayy :)

Chinese papers tomorrow.
Pray everything will go right for me .
Gonna read thru 40报章报道 from KellyOng's from 好作文.
Pray any one of it comes out for tomorrow.
Aiyahhh im not that into 报章报道, so just read for, fun :)

Gonna mugg again tonightt.
MUMMY please forgoodnesssakeee stop staring &asking me like ima freak .
Just cause i studied late in th night =. =
Just leave me alone kaysss ?

Wannnaaa tireeee myself out, by studying :)
Im making full use of my time, better than lying on th bed staring at th ceiling .

2010-10-03T20:44:00.003+08:00

perhaps this is th only way im left with now; to pray &wish .

I cant help but to feel afraid, of everythingg .
Every single thing that is happening nowww, yesterday, tomorrow, future.
Everythinggggg.
Comeonnn chill brainnn, you gotta chill :))

2weeks ! I just gotta tolerate for 2fucking weeks &everything's over .
I dont hope for what, just to pass my english, PLEASE.
dammittt, dontknow why after finish reading twenties girl,
i suddenly feel damn scared, damn afraid ill retainnn.
ohhplease god :((

Definitely not productive today .
I just hate staying at home, even thou im alone =. =
okay it makes no difference, in school it's still th same when talk about STUDYING.
I just hate MY environment, HERE.
Sucks, i end up staring outside of th windoww or staring at th textbook, or eat =. =
Irritating.

Guess ill fail my chem terribly this time round againnn.
Just based on MCQ on QA, 20questions i only got 9correcttt .
Somemore with th help of textbook, if no resources given to me, how ? 5 ? yahh .
Maybe i should give everybody a SURPRISE, with a 30+/120 for chem . how about it ?!
GOD, i must be crazy, BUT THAT'S EXACTLY ON MY MIND !!
god dammittt, im losing my confidence at this stage.

I havent started REALLY revise on EVERY SUBJECT.
HOW, tomorrow is th start of EOY alreadyyyyyyyy
I NEED GET MY BUTT DOWNNNN, ivesaiditalotoftimes,yetnothingisdone-.-

GRRR, i hate this, i hate whatever is happening nowww, NOWWW.
SCREWWWWWEDDDDDDD RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGG.

mixedmixedmixed chaoguotiao.
I cant differentiate my feelings now.
OMG, AM I STILL A HUMAN.

fuck life seriously ! tsk~

2010-10-01T22:24:00.002+08:00

Happy Childrens' Day !!
Failed both emaths &chemistryyyyy.
PASSED MY CHINESE !
&thanks huanglaoshi :))

Did SS in school with wen with th help of marcusss.
Stupid drama of wen.
Got me laughing from wen>marcus tripping>lit &marcus playing hide &seek.
laugh till, th two girls at th other table keeping their things, keep looking .
Bloody jokers.
Traineeeddd with aldwin marcus magnus &charles.
homeeddd :)

super unproductive.
guess i should really hide myself in one corner of th school &GET REAL DOWN INTO WORK.
this isnt going to work any laterrrrrrrr.
i need to get my butt &head downnn, and FOCUS.
i can do it :))

Gonna mug during th weekends,
cheers :))

2010-09-29T22:11:00.004+08:00

HAPPYBIRTHDAYYYY :))
shall not be long-winded, for everything's in th cardd .
Thanks for everythinggg, lovexzchuuuuu♥ :))

trying to stay strong. smiling every single day ..
but its down every day ends. soon soon, but i cant break down noww .
&it turns from a smile to a frownn.
it'll still be a smileeee out thereee :)))

2010-09-24T21:08:00.002+08:00

no matter what, you'll never see me cry .

Hectic week. &finally, it's fridayy .
I feel so tiredd, so so tired .
So, how what why when where who;
how i manage to survive till then .
what makes days pass so fast .
why am i so tired.
when will this end .
where can i go from here .
who am i ..

Super HIONG todayy .
PE got me mad by running around in th quadrangle.
play till chest damn painn. damn long never play till liddat liaooo..

Chemistry was boringgg .
Interclass was funn, enjoyed myself :)
Got our ensemble piece .

EOY in 2weeks time. &im still here slacking.
Think back, this period of time last year, im rushing &chionging madd .
Now ? doesnt matter to me anymore .
Lost. haha

Soon &after.

2010-09-21T22:27:00.002+08:00

Change isn't easy. Changing the way you live means changing what you believe about life.
That's hard .

Chinese teacher PMS these few dayss.
Keep on showing atttidue.
WELL, i have an attitude too *rolleyes*

Double acer todayy, tiring like nobody's business.
My eyes crying th whole dayy.
Was onn yh's phone during lessonssss, double painn !!

Children's day coming !
HEHEHES, im upp to something again :)

Tiring life.
cheers cheers smile &continue :)

2010-09-20T20:36:00.002+08:00

teach me, how to express it outt ..

I closed my eyes, all i felt was painn .
There's no sunshine, but darkness .
Sudden painfulness. What's th cause ?
Idontknow. It's so hurtful inside, but idontknow what's that ..

School was okayyy todayyy .

Headache .
I need to chill seriouslyy
fuckuppmoood.

what if you're only left with one memory to remember, what will you remember ?

2010-09-19T21:54:00.002+08:00

030295 :)

SUNSUNSUNSUNSUNSUNSHINEEE~
ITS ABOUT TIMEEE~
TIME FOR SUNSHINEE~

HELLO GUYS :)
back in action !
know what mama told me just now ?
mummy: wahh you hair,
me: i knowwww, curly mahhhh
mummy: you know people with curly hair right, is th most cunning one.
me: (HAHAHAHYAHH I KNOW IM CUNNING) AIYAHH HOW I KNOW IT WILL CURL

went sabbb's house today !
with bel eileen yunn amanda &bryan .
printed scores at punggol plaza.
I SERIOUSLY HATE THAT AUNTY ALOT.
i told her, I TOLD HER NOT TO FOLD TH SCORES OR WHAT
WALAN, SHE STILL PRESS TH MACHINE SO HARD
GRRRRR feel like slapping her .

school tomorrrowwwww.
better week i presumeee.
Last week of CCA .. gonna be sentdownn for eoy.
ohmyyyy

i think i ate too many stickyyyyy.
sugar rushhhh :)

2010-09-17T20:36:00.002+08:00

soareyouuu~

You should never give yourself a chance to fall apart.
Because, when you do, it becomes a tendency and it happens over and over again .
You must practice staying strong, instead .
yeahhh, stay strongggg .

PERHAPS, MAYBE IT IS, that i have caused it .
me ? yeahhhhhhhhh, partly ..

Tireddd. ss lesson tomorrow.
gonnnaaa start mugging for eoyyyy .

2010-09-16T21:32:00.002+08:00

today, againnn ..

I keep questioning myself todayy.
why did it come backk again .
Arent me feeling happy yesterdayy ?
why ohh why .

Lost. It've been soo long.
when ohh when .

2010-09-14T18:24:00.002+08:00

it's just that particular moment ..

Isn't it ironic ?
We ignore the ones who adore us, adore the one who ignore us.
Loves the one who hurts us, and hurts the ones who loves us.
And now i regret it more than anything .
And all i can do now is to treasure, treasure &treasure.
Treat every single thing with care, not wanting to break it .
Sometimes its just ..... heheh forget it :)

I could hardly recognize myself now .
Happy or sad ? Faking or real ?
I dont know. I can no longer know, feel ?
hahah amazing :)

Awesome chinese lesson with awesome people around me .
I'm glad ive such wonderful friends around me.
Including youuu :)

Im gonna get sick again if i tire myselfff like this .
Mummy was like asking me, 'today no homework?'
Me: got uhhh
Mummy: then still go sleep
Me: cause i tired mahh
Mummy: pig leh you
LOL. no choice, im tiredddd

Was reading MM's interview on th newspaper this after.
&he said this:
"We are social animals. Without that interaction with people, you are isolated.
The worst punishment you can give a person is the isolation world. You get hallucinations."
awesome :)

2010-09-12T22:34:00.003+08:00

Rewinddddd....

I miss everything;
How we used to be .
How things never clog upp so often .
How carefree life is .
How closed are we .
How problems never fail to disappear .
How cheerful you are.
How smart am i.
How time just pass .
How how how how .....

Looking back at those things i wrote, I realized how naive am i .
To think that things will go in my way, to think that everything will be alright ..
Praying for the day to come itself, it's just another wishful thinking, that's killing me .
Things are so different now, different from the past, different from everything .
Reality just shows that it can't &won't be back to the past anymore.
For it's the past (?)
I wonder how, i wonder why, i wonder when .
Pure joy, pure happiness ? hahha

Nothing goes smoothly .
Waking up in the middle of the night, reaching out for my phone (?)
Staring at the ceiling, wondering why am i not sleeping.
Turning around, thinking why would things turned this way.
Staring at blank space, daydreaming every now &then .
Things, world, life . How amazing .

Drifted, every single one of you .
It is me that has changed or what .
It's different, the feel .
How, tell me how .
Ignorance .
So near, yet so far ...

I have a cb sis, who push everything to me.
Think she's in a smarty school, im easy to bully .
Think im younger, so i have to take the responsibilities or shits/craps.
No way .
See, that's what i mean .
I hate my life. haha

I had a good laugh in the afternoon .
Tearedddd. haha

Tomorrow's a new term .
Will things get better ? I doubt so .
Will i fail lesser ? I doubt so .
Will i pass my chem &physics ? I doubt so .
Will i get caught for sleeping/daydreaming again ? Yes of course .
See . Life, life, life. hahah
EOY coming in another 4weeks, prepared ? NO.
Maybe i should really get myself sit downn, &really chiong like mad like last year.
nahnah, ive no motivation to do that . Where's the nerddyyy meee ?!

Screwed. My life is SCREWED .

A failure.
To still think that im your bestie, i cant even manage to cheer you upp .
I cant even say good/nice things.
All i know is to say things, to call you do things, which hurts you more .
Things which doesn't help in th situation at all .
Fail .. Step out ..

Im sooo-ohhh-tired of life .
Smile, smile, smile.
No worries ..
The show must go on. It will, and it must go on .

Thanks, thanks for being there for me, be it rain or shine .
How can i, how can i .........

Yay, a colourful post :)

2010-09-11T20:25:00.002+08:00

brighten me upp~

Sometimes we laugh, to keep from crying .
Sometimes we smile, to keep from frowning .
Sometimes we hate, to keep from loving .
Sometimes we hide, so that we can't be found .

说穿了隐藏不了了

不过别担心我还是会每天带上那个面具出去 :)

Feeling rather lost now .
It have been some time since i find hard to differentiate my feelings .
Happy, sad, angry, frustrated, disappointed, or what. Idontknow .
Feeling so, lost (?)

So not productive.
I thought mama will be at home todayy.. turns out not .
Whole afternoon was just, laptop laptop &laptop .
Watched 'Vampires Suck', comedy. funnyyy. had a great laughh .
Did nothing todayy..
Guess tomorrow I'll just finish upp English TYS, delayed for very long alreadyyy .
Others just leave it till mondayy bahh .

What hurts th most was being so close and having so much to say ,
but i just sat there &stare in th open space .

2010-09-10T21:03:00.003+08:00

It always must be there, be it rain or shine ..

Ever felt too depressed to do anything ? Not even stay on the internet ?
This feeling you get when you feel like nothing's gonna help you at all,
so you go to bed, close your eyes and pray it'll change when you wake up,
but when you open your eyes you die a lil inside because you're still alive and it's still the same?
Ever just plainly waited till it was time to go to bed,
but forced yourself to stay up late so that you were too exhausted to think?
So that when you went to bed you fell into deep sleep and didn't have any time to think
and cry your eyes out silently whilst burying your head in your pillow ?
Ever just wanted to sleep forever and never wake up?
yes, yes, yes &yes...

I'm one that tends to give up easily .
I'm one that tends to get tired easily .
I'm one that is quiet in nature .
Don't say I'm talkative, it's just a show .
Wait till you know what's behind the curtains, you'll see everything ..
Don't judge a book by its cover .

I love quiet places.
I love being alone.
I love staring at something for very long.
Deep down in thoughts.
I love long bus rides .
Weird isin't . Well, that's me; WEIRU :)

It have been a rainy dayy todayy .
Didn't know Punggol 'BEACH' was under sucha RENO that can't go in ..
Well, bit disappointed, but never minddd :)
Mrted down to lil india, continue down to Clarke Quay.
Raininggg. nono should be drizzling !
90steps !
Awesome dayy althou no beachh :)

Awesome muccchhh .
How to describe, the feeling is just so cool &relaxing .
Smoothen my minddd.

&it's time to wish again :)

2010-09-09T21:55:00.002+08:00

like youuu ..

I've never felt this way,
To be so in love, to have someone there

Yet feel so alone .
Aren't you supposed to be th one who wipe my tears
Th one to say that you would never leave ?

I sat alone in th bus today, going compass.
I stood in th LRT alone today, going school.
I walked alone today, going school.
okayy dont focus on ALONE, that's not th point.
I dont mind being alone, it's cool. yeahhh, leave me to thoughts .
The point is, i realized, actually I dont really talk that muchh uhhh .
Rather quiet ? yeahhh only when in a big group or what, then ill talk.
if you realized, haha

AWESOME, mrtang passed me Kiss The Rain todayy !!
Actually it's just repeating th same thing again &againnn.
With th piano part, will be best ! :)
Sectionals almost th whole day ..... boring
Running notes all th way in th morning, somemore highhhhh, waseh .
Hand painn like ... :(
Afternoon sectional was slackerrr abit :P

I'm gonna find time to chup in my piece
:)

how how how ? what what what ?
ohmyyy ..

2010-09-08T22:01:00.003+08:00

There's too much pain &hurt in my life, adding up more and more .
Looking things more suckishly, drowning myself further down more.
Thoughts killing me every single day, imaginations, wild feelings, tears downn .
more and more and more and more . Everything mixed upp.
Sleepless nights. Silence days. What's more.
I had it enough .
I'm letting go. Of everything.
Th sadness, unhappiness, tears, everything .
I'm tiredd of faking everything .
Too much hurt &painn, everyday in my life .
&cause i dont want hurt you people, thus im forced. yes forced.
Well look back, i'm good at faking right :)
I want to be happy againnn, im letting go .
Picking myself up from this rubbbiiishhh .
Hopefully it's not slippery. Idontwant to fall downnn .
buttttttttt, im not letting go of youuu .
It was a mistake from th start, haha

"What makes you laugh?"
It's exactly what yunneh asked me on mondayy.
&i still laugh at her, "it wont come out want lahh"
&yeahh right, i got shocked and stoned there when mdmong asked me.

So what exactly makes me laugh .
Basically, i laugh at everything, right ?
yeahh, hahah

I'm th last for englishh oral, kinda suck. &i was th timekeeper =.=
Mdmong keep looking at her phone, cause i stoned there.
I think i screwed up my picture discussion, no OPEC at all .
Not even half a foolscap of words. haha gg this timee.
Conversation was worst. Everything i said were craps, not relatedd.
&worst still, "....... just laugh lah". LOL, &im thinking, SHIT, WHY LAH .

Chinese was th best, most relaxxinggg .
Th passage was difficult, withh manymany words idontknow how read.
But i still find it, quite relaxing.
&im making stupid expressions on my face when idontknow how read th words
AND, conversation, idontknow how express english in chinese.
&i have weird faces. okay i think im screweddd again .hahah
Luckyy Mskwok manage to read my thoughts :P
Quite funn chinese :P didnt use any good phrases or what, simple chinese !

please wear your BLACK band tee tomorrow.
OKAY GET IT, i know you'll dont have anything to shoot me if i GL your right.
AIYAHH, okay .
dammitt, know what.
I'm gonna be in black tomorrow, catch me yeah. haha
black tee, black shorts, blue socks. brownish hair(almost all black), tanned skinn
and worst thing, black bag, dammit.
yeahh, catch me in th most outstanding one, white shoes.
dammit, yeahyahblahbleh.

&it's time to wishh again :)

2010-09-07T21:59:00.002+08:00

How cool can this be..
I feel like trying~

I feel that I'm sucha loser;
when everybody around me is going out, and i stayed at home.

Today isn't as productive as i THOUGHT.
You see, it's all those thinkings, all those thoughts again .
Drowned, it drowned me; my thoughts, my mind.
I THOUGHT, i would be able to concentrate on my work.
But it turns out not, im there infront of my work, but my mind is somewhere else.
that makes it unproductive.
But i still manage to touch ABIT on history, &try out chem .

You see, things just not going well.
It's all about expectations .
Sometimes we expect more from others, because we'd be willing to do that much for them .

OMG, stupid Justin just made me remember about conversations.
EYE CONTACTS. shrucks, I HATE EYE CONTACTS.
I'm even afraid of that when im looking at my friends, OMG.
worse, TOMORROW TEACHER.
I dont want fail my oral like primary5, where there's no eye contact,
KNOW WHAT'S TH STUPID REASON I DIDNT LOOK AT TH TEACHER ?!
cause he's th discipline master, huge eyes, damn scary, I SCARED.
fuck, im sucha loser seriously.
TILL THEN IM STILL SCARED.

Loser, hahah. i admit .
bye world.

2010-09-06T20:19:00.003+08:00

Cause i believe th world out there is beautiful .

So many things to say, yet i have limited time .
So many things to do, yet i have no time at all .
So many places i want to go, yet i have no time .
So many things to buy, yet i have limited cash .
So many many many things ..

So what now. So when. So why. So how. So who. ?
You tell me .
Im wondering if I'd done th right thing on that day .
False hopes ? yeah right .

It doesn't pay to be good, to be kind .
I tried, to reminiscence my wrongs.
Know what, i regretted.
Why should i even care, why should i even bother,
~~why should i even anticipate for THOUGHTS to happened?~~
Because what ? It's because again .
Know what, cause I'm weiru.
fucking loser .

I'm tired .
I thought i proved my thoughts wrongly . But no, i haven't .
It's still th same. I'm tired .

Tell me, tell me if everything's alright.
Tell me, if th world is functioning well again.
Tell me, if my life will turn better.
It sucks, yes it sucks .
I hate listening to excuses, reasons.
I hate seeing how happy people are, &yet im here ..
Stop saying this word, alone. If you're alone, sucha loner, what about me .
It's not like you've no friends. So what . so what . so what .
Shut upp please. Look at my msn dp.

Yeah right yeah right yeah right, everything just screw up.

OH WHATEVER WHATEVER WHATEVER~

2010-09-05T20:00:00.002+08:00

And every night, I lie awake.
Thinking maybe you love me like i always love you.
But how can you, love me like i, love you
When you can't even look me straight in my eyes.

I dont know what hurts you .
But i can feel it too
And it just hurts so much
To know that i can't do a thing .
And deep down in my heart
Somehow i just know that no matter what,
I'll always love you .

-kiss the rain

Because i hate how life works .
Because i hate how th world functions .
Because i hate how things go .
Because i hate every single thing .
I chose this, i chose this path .
From that second those thoughts entered my mind .
I know, i know life gonna be different .

I clipped up my fringe today, when out for dinner.
amazing .

2010-09-05T15:00:00.003+08:00

Isabel Tan;
awesome awesomer awesome-est bestie.

Thanks for being there for me every single time, be it ups or downs.
Thanks for your listening ear, &your advices .
Thanks for not tolerating every single nonsense, especially when im in bad mood.
Let's talk &crap more during chinese lessons !
&during recess, after school, AND CHEM ACER !
&CHEER UPP SOON ALRIGHTS !
I'll be here, there, everywhere for youuu !
Iloveyouuuu :)

2010-09-04T21:43:00.000+08:00

Cause I wished upon th stars ..

Time seems to pass very slow today ..
I thought it was 10+ when mama woke me upp .
Who knows its 12.30
Drowned myself into Cathy Cassidy's Scarlett todayy .
Keeping myself away from thoughts &th world .
Nice book :)

I want to go to th beach .
It feels so cool when th sun shines on your back,
&sits there looking at th sea, waves(if any) .

Ever since seeing that, i want to ask .
Perhaps i should, right ?

Heartfelt words.
Life is just so confusing, or perhaps..
If all these things didnt happened,
I will not know, and would never know, all these .
But yet it hurts so much .
How life ..

Can you? Will you? Could you? Would you?
Promises .
No smile is better than holding back manymany tears behind a faked smile .
I want to be happy again, pure happy .

ahhh my brain clogging upp
I cant think much .
Words, just inject to my minddd.
I want to stay up in th night againn, this time with th accompaniment of th stars .
But,
ohwell .

okay lame, bye
Shall start reading The Gift tomorrow :)